[The Feature Image above is AI generated and has only the barest connections with reality. And is in fact scarier than this film.]

In brief, a team of ghost hunters enter the wrong haunted house and do the wrong things.

Its been said before that the hardest thing to review is a mediocre flick. You can rave about a great flick, you can rant about a bad one. The mediocre, though… you got nothing.

Portal‘s a little worse than that.

There’s nothing wrong with the acting, only it’s not really good. There’s nothing wrong with the story, except it feels like it could have used another draft. There’s nothing wrong with the directing, except there’s no scares. No fission.

The movie is okay. Like I Was a Teenage Frankenstein, it’s very much in it’s subgenre. The night footage is achieved with a bright light shining into the house through windows. The special effects work… ish.

It takes a while to get to the haunted house, but it’s not boring. It’s not anything. It just is.

I’m not sure I dislike it, but I can’t justify liking it.

There are short films so much better than this. Maybe it would have worked better as a found footage flick.

Dunno. Dunno, dunno, dunno.

I feel kind of bad with this review. The filmmakers tried. Hopeful the next try is better than this.

And yet, despite all that, not sorry I watched the film.

Makes no damn sense. But using the two score system of the sister site, this is two mehs (1.0 point each) for a total of 2.0 points.