[THOUGHTS] Jokes Just For You

When trying to be funny, on line or in the really real world, you have to remember one thing: Some jokes are just funny to you.

Of course this holds true with a lot of things. Like Horror for instance. Some people are scared of spiders, some aren’t. Some are willing to believe in ghosts for a span, some won’t. You can’t make people feel the terror, you can only try.

Thing is, with Horror, there’s always going to be the other option. That it’s funny when it should be scary. That happens. You might not want it to happen, but it does happen.

Humor doesn’t have that fall back.

Bad humor kills. It even angers.

I have seen many a Comedies I didn’t get. Like Napoleon Dynamite. Well, fair’s fair, I haven’t watched the film, so I’m not speaking out of experience. But what little I’ve seen doesn’t encourage me to see more. I know people who love the film. Maybe I’m missing out.

I don’t think so.

Of late, though, more and more Comedies have been leaving me… irritated.

Family Guy, for instance. Once upon a time, I could watch full episodes of the series and enjoy it. Over time, however, I’ve gotten to the point where if every single main character in the show died of cancer, on fire, covered with bees, with sharp things jabbing under their fingernails I could get behind it. If there are decent characters on the show, they’re few and far between.

Thus I don’t watch the show.

But. I can still see how some people might like it.

I’ve watched small bits of certain episodes and said, “Hey! That’s funny. Be funnier if they all exploded in a ball of green flame, GREEN FLAME! Still, ha ha.”

I understand Family Guy‘s exisitance.

I don’t understand Velma‘s existence. At all.

This is a brand new cartoon that came out this year. Allegedly the “true story” behind the classic Scooby Doo series. Only everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY is to one degree or another a hateful, soul crushing monster.

Again, in fairness, I’ve not sat through a full episode. There may be some bon mot or sight gag I haven’t seen that’s simply hilarious.

What I have seen from clips makes me doubt it.

The main character, Velma, is Evil with a capital E. She is a narcissist who hurts everyone around her. The viewer’s supposed to root for her. Laugh at her antics, nod at every truth bomb she lays out, whether it’s a jab at white people or a stab at men, or whatever is the focus of her ire at the moment. And there seems to be a hell of a lot of ire.

None of these people are even remotely like the characters they’re stealing from.

Remember what I wished on the characters of Family Guy? Well that’s too good for the characters of Velma. They need to be…

Excuse me for a second.

Here it is.

“Hanging’s too good for ’em. Burning’s too good for ’em! They should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!”

Heavy Metal. Kinda

I’ll bet that the writers simply loved every word they wrote. Thought they had a modern classic on their hands. Trouble is that they were writing stuff only they found funny. And it shows. On Rotten Tomato Velma has a below 50% score with the critics, and around 6% with regular people.

That’s an epic failure right there.

The Big Three (III) – He Walks in Eternity

There’s a minor family dispute over the following history. But we’ll get to that.

The main facts are these: My Dad watched Doctor Who back in the Seventies and was not impressed. He did, however, tell My Mom about it and suggest that her monster loving eldest might like it.

Correction: According to Mom, Dad had only heard of Doctor Who when recommending me watching it. Would have sworn she had told me differently. Hey, it’s been over forty years, it’s a miracle I remember anything from back then. Or now.

Which was how I ended up having one of the most terrifying viewing experiences of my young life.

See, there’s this pretty lady in a room, and while she was watching something on a TV this metal snake monster attacks her. A guy in the scarf comes to rescue her, but he’s too late, she’s been Got. He and another guy take her away, leaving behind this old guy who stares at the snake monster.

Now I knew for a fact that another snake monster is in the room. Doesn’t matter that there was no reason to believe this, I just knew. And that monster was going to jump out any second and Get the old guy!

This scared me to death.

Now here’s where the dispute comes in. Mom says I ran out of the room. She also says the episode was about cannibalism, so her memory of the issue is suspect.

My memory of is of turning the TV off. I might have ran away after that. That is a possibility.

You can never be too certain with monsters.

There were other terrifying encounters with the show, which piqued my Dad’s interest. What could possibly be frightening about Doctor Who? He watched it and got hook.

It became a family favorite, more so than my other two heroes.

(Me? I finally watched an episode with the Doctor beating a monster. That helped.)

Any ways, as with the others, I collected, I had help collecting. And to a large degree, even now, I’m a fan.