Category: Movies

[MONTH Of HORROR] Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell

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Look at that title again: Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell.  There is absolutely no way anything with that title can be any good.

You know what? It isn’t.

Here’s a quick word about the flick: A man murders his yandere girlfriend, but she comes back as a vengeful ghost. Thirty years later, his bodybuilder son and the son’s psychic investigator ex-girlfriend investigate the house where the yandere is secretly buried. Little do they know, she’s craving revenge. Which she goes about in Evil Dead fashion.

It’s bad. Bad special effects, the works. But it’s also charming and fun, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Small thought on AI again. I took the summary of the film I’m currently using in the Sister Site review and asked the Assistant here to shorten it for me. The results aren’t the summary you see a couple of paragraphs back, but damn close. I edited the resulting paragraph, clarifying points here and there.

That’s the second time today I’ve used the Assistant in such fashion (I reworked a excerpt with it first). It’s a useful thing, opening my eyes to potential ways of expression. However, it does put my gut on edge for some reason. The words don’t feel fully mine. Like I’m cheating somehow.

Dunno. It might get used sparingly. Sure as hell feel like I should to admit using it.

[MONTH OF HORROR] Noroi: The Curse

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I mentioned earlier in the week how good it is to find good Lovecraftian films that don’t just trot out Lovecraft’s characters. Here is another example, even better than the last. It has a psychic investigator looking into odd happenings. In doing so he stumbles onto something much, much worse than he can imagine.

It’s in the pseudo-documentary subgenre of Found Footage, my favorite, and is really well done. Japanese Horror at its finest. Well worth hunting down.

We now sit at 24 days and 24 reviews. 51 if you count the reviews on this site (the movies plus the short films). Not too terrible. Really wish I hadn’t been take out one day.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Breach

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It’s always good to find quality Lovecraftian flicks that don’t lean on the usual suspects. Stuff like The Void, Terrified, and with this one, The Breach.

The film is about a local police chief on his last days on the job investigating a corpse without bones. It takes him to a remote corner of the woods to an answer he really doesn’t want.

I enjoyed the hell out of this. It’s not the scariest of its subgenre (that would be Terrified) nor my favorite (Prince of Darkness for the win), but it’s high on the list. Worth seeking out.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Kiss of the Vampire and a Summation of the Third Week

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The Kiss of the Vampire is completely misnamed. No Vampire kissing is ever shown. A better title would have been The Gaslighting of the Vampire’s Victim’s Husband. No, on second thought, maybe not.

Anyways, this is a Hammer Flick during the prime of Hammer, so it’s obviously going to be good. Never saw it before, but it’s become a new favorite.

And now, the week that was:

  • Killdozer! [02/16/24]
  • Phantasm [02/23/24]
  • The Bridge Curse [02/29/24] – Yes, this puts it on a Thursday. As the film takes place on February 29, it seemed more appropriate. Like doing a Friday the 13th on the same date.
  • Ghoulies II [03/08/24]
  • The Cat and the Canary [03/15/24]
  • Kiss of the Vampire [03/22/24]

Next is the obligatory pointless Awards for the week:

Best Movie of the Week: This is a tough one, as I hit a nice string of good flicks. A coin flip gave it to The Cat and the Canary, but it could have easily been Phantasm. Among others.

Worst of the Week: Ghoulies II. Didn’t even have to think about it.

Movie With a Surplus of Punctuation: Killdozer!.

Best Foreign Flick: The Kiss of the Vampire. Just not The Bridge Curse‘s day.

Which would be February 29th. We’ve established this.

Newest Film Watched: The Bridge Curse, which came out in 2020.

Oldest Film Watched: The Cat and the Canary, which came out in 1927. Almost a hundred years old. No spring kitty, this.

Film with the Heaviest Monster: Killdozer!. Though the camera adds ten pounds. And a exclamation point.

Best Bad Advise Given By an AI: “Include the reason why ‘Killdozer!‘ was named the movie with a surplus of punctuation.” It’s right there in the title.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Cat and the Canary

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This, it should be noted, is the original flick. The classic Silent. One of THE MOST INFLUENCIAL FILMS IN HORROR.

It’s okay.

Actually, it’s a great flick. Very entertaining. Every single Horror/Thriller about a group of people gathering for a will being bumped off by a killer rips this film off. Even Scooby Doo borrows.

With this I am now at 20 reviews. I’ve missed a day due to illness, but I’ve been hitting the marks I’ve wanted to hit. Eleven more days.

[MONTH OF HORROR] Phantasm/Ghoulies II

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It might seem like I’m letting down the side, but I did watch a movie yesterday. Specifically Phantasm, that Horror classic about a teen being chased around a mausoleum by a Tall Man and his balls. Which sounds questionable but isn’t. Yet it’s true. Kind of.

Good flick, though I have issues.

Not a good flick is Ghoulies II, sequel to the flick Gremlins Ghoulies. This is more of a copy of the Christmas Classic than its forbearer, but it has a little charm. Very little. Probably Cullen only little. If you’re looking for a flick about a haunted house haunted by real demons, I’m sure there’s a better one out there than this one. But I think viewers might have fun here.

19 reviews. All the way to March. Feeling good about that.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Bridge Curse

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Missed a day! Got sick! And this week isn’t looking good for catching up.

Thank goodness for watching two movies in one day. I’m still on track for a perfect 31.

Anyway, The Bridge Curse is about a group of young college students wanting to set up a test of courage for their Juniors. Unfortunately for them, they themselves perform the ritual wrong and that unleashes a vindictive ghost.

It’s… okay. Everything works until the twist at the end, then the whole thing goes to pot. Oh well. Kinda good, and I kinda liked it, but I’m not seeing it again.

17 reviews in 17 days. Looking good.

[MONTH OF HORROR] Killdozer!

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Killdozer! is about an alien force stalking construction workers on a remote island. It takes over a bulldozer and kills Spencer: For Hire. What will Captain Sisko say?

Okay, that’s enough pop culture references. It’s a decent little TV movie based on a Theodore Sturgeon novella. I watched a lousy copy of it on YouTube, only to find a pristine one not five minutes after finishing the review for the sister site, also on YouTube.

This is my life.

Anyway, as I said last post, the Friday the 13th review is finished and scheduled. I now have 16 reviews out of the hoped for 31. I’ve been writing every day and feel pretty good.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Conference and a Summation of the Second Week

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Summation2 Comments

Wow, that’s bleeding edge reviewing right there. The Conference came out yesterday and I’ve reviewed today.

And the review pops up next year.

In February.

Might want to move that forward.

Anyways, The Conference has a group of municipal workers gathering for a, get this, conference. Unfortunately for them the very thing they’re discussing, a brand new mall, has someone mad enough to see every one there dead.

Swedish Slasher flick. One of the best I’ve ever seen. Might knock down The Prowler from that perch I had it on.

And now for our second feature. The week that was in viewing order. The numbers beside the titles are when the films pop up over on Welltun Cares Reviews. The order might change on whim. Especially since I think The Conference should pop up a wee bit sooner.

Also I didn’t review the short films for the sister site. And I’m still reworking Friday the 13th.

  • Dawn Breaks Behind the Eyes [12-22-23]
  • V/H/S/99 [12-29-23]
  • V/H/S/85 [01-05-24]
  • The House of Seven Corpses [01-12-24]
  • Evil Dead Trap [01-19-24]
  • One Dark Night [01-26-24]
  • The Other Side of the Box [Short Film]
  • The Chair [Short Film]
  • Stalled [Short Film]
  • Friday the 13th [??-??-??]
  • The Conference [02-02-24]

Next is the obligatory pointless Awards for the week:

Best Movie of the Week: The Conference. Best slasher flick I’ve seen. Might even be one of the best Horror flicks, too.

Best Anthology of the Week: V/H/S/85. V/H/S/99 was pretty good, too.

Worst Movie of the Week: Dawn Breaks Behind the Eyes. Such a waste of potential.

Biggest Disappointment: The House of Seven Corpses. Man, that should have been better.

Newest Film Watched: The Conference. Came out yesterday.

Oldest Film Watched: The House of Seven Corpses

Best Use of Past Their Prime Star: One Lonely Night, for getting Adam West paid.

Movie I Liked that I Probably Shouldn’t: Evil Dead Trap. Though I do like worse.

Movie I Wouldn’t Have Expected to Watch This Month: Friday the 13th. I wasn’t going to watch a movie I had a review for. And yet. Special nod goes to the shorts, as I wasn’t going to watch them, either.