Category: Movies

[MONTH OF HORROR] V/H/S Viral

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I can’t seem to escape this series. This one has an ice cream truck from Hell, a magician with an evil cape, a parallel universe you don’t want to go to, and skater boys battling the undead. Inventive, wild, vastly entertaining. Probably the best one of these I’ve seen. Almost cracks the 4.0 barrier Sister Site wise (it’s hard for anthologies to get 4.0 and 0.0 the way I run things.)

Almost done with the month. Two more days, and I’m at 30 out of 31 reviews for the Sister Site. Not bad, not bad.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Barn and a Summation of the Fourth Week

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Real quick: I did indeed do a write-up for When Evil Lurks. Thus with today’s review also in the pipeline, I am now ahead one movie.

Today’s flick, The Barn, feels like it came right out of the Eighties, but in a good way. A group of high school seniors head out for one last go at trick or treating and end up freeing demons. As one does. Really a fun little flick and I look forward to watching the sequel. Which may or may not happen tomorrow.

And now the week that was:

  • The Breach [03/29/24]
  • Schlock [04/05/24]
  • Noroi: The Curse [04/12/24]
  • Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell [04/19/24]
  • Hospital [04/26/24]
  • Prince of Darkness [05/03/24]
  • When Evil Lurks [05/10/24]
  • The Barn [05/17/24]

Next is the obligatory pointless Awards for the week:

Best Movie of the Week: Noroi: The Curse, but only because I liked it better than When Evil Lurks.

Worst of the Week: Schlock. Unless I pick something worse in the next three days (HA!) it’s going to be the worst of the month hands down.

Biggest Disappointment: Schlock again. Hot on its heels is Hospital and When Evil Lurks. Which, again, is a great Horror flick. It’s just too bleak and miserable for me.

Best Terrible Movie: Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell. Really bad, but a lot of fun.

Newest Film Watched: When Evil Lurks. It came out this month. I’m cutting edge, I am.

Oldest Film Watched: Schlock. It’s as old as I am. I’ve just weathered the years better.

Old Favorite: Prince of Darkness. I had to give it SOME reward.

Movie That Pops Up On This List Too Much: Schlock. Seriously. I’m tired off seeing it here.

Potential New Favorite: The Barn.

Movie With the Best Gorilla Suit: Schl– OH COME ON!

[MONTH OF HORROR] Hospital/Prince of Darkness/When Evil Lurks

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I didn’t get a review up for yesterday, but not because I didn’t watch a movie. I finished Hospital and found I didn’t want to talk about it. In a nutshell, it’s about an Exorcist that takes two women through a haunted hospital, where the usual fun and games happen. Good chills, I had thought, but didn’t like the ending. Couldn’t understand why I couldn’t seal the deal and write a review.

This morning I woke and decided the problem was that I was being too kind to it. That worked out, the review came easy.

Same night, I tried to get a wee bit ahead by watching Prince of Darkness, John Carpenter’s glorious flick about liquid Satan sealed in a jar. Still one of the best Lovecraft flicks that has nothing to do with Lovecraft. This one I struggle with because of my affection for it. But I got it done.

When Evil Lurks was my flick for today–the day it came out. Two brothers struggle to deal with Demonic incursion and fail about as badly as one can fail. It’s a great flick, but too dark for me. In fact, I don’t think I can review it for the Sister Site.

Good thing I watched the Carpenter flick…

Anyway, Day 27 and 27 reviews. I got a back log almost all the way through next April. Feels good.

[MONTH Of HORROR] Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell

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Look at that title again: Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell.  There is absolutely no way anything with that title can be any good.

You know what? It isn’t.

Here’s a quick word about the flick: A man murders his yandere girlfriend, but she comes back as a vengeful ghost. Thirty years later, his bodybuilder son and the son’s psychic investigator ex-girlfriend investigate the house where the yandere is secretly buried. Little do they know, she’s craving revenge. Which she goes about in Evil Dead fashion.

It’s bad. Bad special effects, the works. But it’s also charming and fun, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.

Small thought on AI again. I took the summary of the film I’m currently using in the Sister Site review and asked the Assistant here to shorten it for me. The results aren’t the summary you see a couple of paragraphs back, but damn close. I edited the resulting paragraph, clarifying points here and there.

That’s the second time today I’ve used the Assistant in such fashion (I reworked a excerpt with it first). It’s a useful thing, opening my eyes to potential ways of expression. However, it does put my gut on edge for some reason. The words don’t feel fully mine. Like I’m cheating somehow.

Dunno. It might get used sparingly. Sure as hell feel like I should to admit using it.

[MONTH OF HORROR] Noroi: The Curse

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I mentioned earlier in the week how good it is to find good Lovecraftian films that don’t just trot out Lovecraft’s characters. Here is another example, even better than the last. It has a psychic investigator looking into odd happenings. In doing so he stumbles onto something much, much worse than he can imagine.

It’s in the pseudo-documentary subgenre of Found Footage, my favorite, and is really well done. Japanese Horror at its finest. Well worth hunting down.

We now sit at 24 days and 24 reviews. 51 if you count the reviews on this site (the movies plus the short films). Not too terrible. Really wish I hadn’t been take out one day.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Breach

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It’s always good to find quality Lovecraftian flicks that don’t lean on the usual suspects. Stuff like The Void, Terrified, and with this one, The Breach.

The film is about a local police chief on his last days on the job investigating a corpse without bones. It takes him to a remote corner of the woods to an answer he really doesn’t want.

I enjoyed the hell out of this. It’s not the scariest of its subgenre (that would be Terrified) nor my favorite (Prince of Darkness for the win), but it’s high on the list. Worth seeking out.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Kiss of the Vampire and a Summation of the Third Week

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The Kiss of the Vampire is completely misnamed. No Vampire kissing is ever shown. A better title would have been The Gaslighting of the Vampire’s Victim’s Husband. No, on second thought, maybe not.

Anyways, this is a Hammer Flick during the prime of Hammer, so it’s obviously going to be good. Never saw it before, but it’s become a new favorite.

And now, the week that was:

  • Killdozer! [02/16/24]
  • Phantasm [02/23/24]
  • The Bridge Curse [02/29/24] – Yes, this puts it on a Thursday. As the film takes place on February 29, it seemed more appropriate. Like doing a Friday the 13th on the same date.
  • Ghoulies II [03/08/24]
  • The Cat and the Canary [03/15/24]
  • Kiss of the Vampire [03/22/24]

Next is the obligatory pointless Awards for the week:

Best Movie of the Week: This is a tough one, as I hit a nice string of good flicks. A coin flip gave it to The Cat and the Canary, but it could have easily been Phantasm. Among others.

Worst of the Week: Ghoulies II. Didn’t even have to think about it.

Movie With a Surplus of Punctuation: Killdozer!.

Best Foreign Flick: The Kiss of the Vampire. Just not The Bridge Curse‘s day.

Which would be February 29th. We’ve established this.

Newest Film Watched: The Bridge Curse, which came out in 2020.

Oldest Film Watched: The Cat and the Canary, which came out in 1927. Almost a hundred years old. No spring kitty, this.

Film with the Heaviest Monster: Killdozer!. Though the camera adds ten pounds. And a exclamation point.

Best Bad Advise Given By an AI: “Include the reason why ‘Killdozer!‘ was named the movie with a surplus of punctuation.” It’s right there in the title.

[MONTH OF HORROR] The Cat and the Canary

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This, it should be noted, is the original flick. The classic Silent. One of THE MOST INFLUENCIAL FILMS IN HORROR.

It’s okay.

Actually, it’s a great flick. Very entertaining. Every single Horror/Thriller about a group of people gathering for a will being bumped off by a killer rips this film off. Even Scooby Doo borrows.

With this I am now at 20 reviews. I’ve missed a day due to illness, but I’ve been hitting the marks I’ve wanted to hit. Eleven more days.

[MONTH OF HORROR] Phantasm/Ghoulies II

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It might seem like I’m letting down the side, but I did watch a movie yesterday. Specifically Phantasm, that Horror classic about a teen being chased around a mausoleum by a Tall Man and his balls. Which sounds questionable but isn’t. Yet it’s true. Kind of.

Good flick, though I have issues.

Not a good flick is Ghoulies II, sequel to the flick Gremlins Ghoulies. This is more of a copy of the Christmas Classic than its forbearer, but it has a little charm. Very little. Probably Cullen only little. If you’re looking for a flick about a haunted house haunted by real demons, I’m sure there’s a better one out there than this one. But I think viewers might have fun here.

19 reviews. All the way to March. Feeling good about that.