Month of Horror (XXXI) – The Cremators

Hundreds of years ago two alien stones crash landed on Earth and now want to get back together.

This is the final film by Harry Essex, writer of It Came from Outer Space, Creature from the Black Lagoon, and… um… Octaman. Based on the short story The Dune Roller by Julian May, it’s a part of that achingly small subgenre of Monster Movies dealing with a Mama Monster trying to fetch her kids. Or at least that’s what our heroes guess.

In any case, it has one of the neater aliens, a giant rolling ball of fire. On one or two occasions it works quite well.

The film itself wants to be a throwback to the Sci Fi flicks of yore, like the aforementioned It Came From Outer Space and this film’s much better cousin, The Monolith Monsters. It comes close to hitting that mark.

Unfortunately, like Octaman, it’s amateur hour for the blissfully short run time. The rare time the F/X work get run into the ground, the narrative is choppy and near incoherent in places. The lead actress can’t scream worth a damn. And at the very end a giant ball of flame manages to sneak up on two people.

No foolin’. I shouted at the screen when it happened, and I don’t often do that.

Except through places in Absurd, but only because that kid was

Just.

So.

Annoying.

It’s better than Octaman, but do you know what? The 30 second video I made in a parking lot making driving noise behind a steering wheel is better than Octaman.

Still, I might watch this flick again.

Maybe.

Month of Horror (XXX) – The Night Walker

A recently widowed woman begins to have strange dreams involving a mysterious young man… and her dead husband.

An American Giallo directed by the one, the only William Castle. Abetted by a screen play by the LEGENDARY ROBERT BLOCH, this is a decent enough thriller, filled with weird, nightmarish imagery. With great acting, it’s not a bad feature.

It’s just lacking a certain something.

Castle’s a good director, but not a perverse one. Had one of the Italian directors done this, Dario Argento, maybe, or Mario Bava, it could have been a classic.

And to be honest? It plays too many games with the plot.

But it works as a time killer. And probably worth a rewatch or two.

Month of Horror (XXVII) – Hex After Hex

A bodybuilder hooks up with a stewardess who happens to be possessed by a ghost. Hijinks ensue.

This is the third film in the Hex series, or whatever it’s called. I’d seen the first movie, plain ole Hex, an enjoyed it, so I went for this one, not knowing there was a movie between the two.

Which might have explained a thing or two.

Not that there’s any clear connection with Hex here in Hex after Hex. The first is a period piece while the second is closer to present day.

The other difference is that the former is a Horror flick and the latter… isn’t.

There’s not a serious bone in it’s body, despite several deaths.

I found it deeply entertaining (same goes for Hex as I recall, but for different reasons.) It’s deeply silly. The end could have used some work, but I have little complaints.

The second in the series, Hex Vs. Witchcraft, is now on the list, but probably not this month.

Month of Horror (XXVI) – The Brain Eaters

A strange cone appears near the town of Riverdale, Illinois. Wanting to impress Veronica and Betty, Archie Andrews goes to the cone and…

Wait. Not that Riverdale?

Huh.

Actually this is a sneaky adaptation of Robert Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters, And, like Ruby, this is a disappointment. You have alien creatures that hang off the victims neck and not once, not once, do our heroes think to, I dunno, check people’s necks?

Unlike Ruby, though, this film knows what it wants to be. An American International Picture, it’s cheap but well made.

Except for the silly aliens, which we see too much of.

But that said, I enjoyed it, it develops a certain amount of tension despite its flaws. Not bad at all.

Month of Horror (XXV) – Ruby

A gun moll and her old friends are visited by an old flame. An old DEAD flame.

Oh, MAN is this a disappointment.

So close.

Might have needed a rewrite or three. Might have needed a better director.

It comes so CLOSE to clicking. The actors are spot on. The story has so much potential.

It’s almost infuriating how BAD it misses things.

The ending WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT had the story been better.

ARGH!

I still liked it, but man. MAN! Talk about a misfire.

Month of Horror (XXIV) – The Lone Piper/There’s a Man in the Woods

Not every picks a winner, not every flick entertains. So is the case with The Lone Piper, in which a group of 1700’s Scottish soldiers use a piper boy as bait for a monster. It’s a case of “Whose the real monster?” and is done is such an artsy, boring way I thought I missed something first time through and watched it a second time with subtitles.

At roughly nine minutes, it’s not much out of my life. It’s well acted, well shot. Preachy. And, quite frankly, I like a little Horror in my Horror shorts.

Meanwhile, take There’s a Man in The Woods. It’s a four minute cartoon about a bratty kid who’s lie ruins a teacher’s career. I’ve watched this short multiple times (even for this site). It develops it’s characters efficiently, it builds tension, and all in all does more time in it’s brief run that The Lone Piper.

Simple story. No showing off, with every shot mattering. Classic.

Month of Horror (XXIII) Horror at 37000 Feet

Taking an old shrine back home has consequences for everyone on the plane.

This is a weird one, where I thought it was great on watching it, only to change my mind a few hours later.

As standard in these disaster type movies, the writing believes bickering = drama. It does not. A tone of sympathy drips away and the final moments don’t have the power they should if everyone liked one another.

With this being a Made-For-TV movie, the effects are… not good. It does have a wide variety of familiar 70s TV faces, if that’s your bag.

Chief among these is one Captain Kirk… Excuse me, William Shatner. Here we find the old ham doing a bang up job acting. Of a cast of stalwarts, he’s the best and most interesting, even if his character is a cliche.

What else to carp about?

Familiar story… not to clear on certain matters… yeah, that covers it.

I did enjoy the flick. I might even watch it again, or even own it.

I just wish it was as good as I first thought it was.

The Writer Journal (and So Much More!) of Cullen M. M. Waters