So I’m reformating the Sister Site. Again.
In fairness to me, I’m closer to being finished with the last reboot than last time. And the work involves looking at every GOD DAMN REVIEW I’VE WRITTEN to not only change formatting to the new style, but also correct and clarify the texts.
Get this. I somehow managed to transpose opening paragraphs. How? I dunno.
Oh! And the next review is unfinished. No image captures. I have them, just haven’t uploaded.
And that’s my post for the month!
[The Feature Image above is AI generated and has only the barest connections with reality. And is in fact scarier than this film.]
In brief, a team of ghost hunters enter the wrong haunted house and do the wrong things.
Its been said before that the hardest thing to review is a mediocre flick. You can rave about a great flick, you can rant about a bad one. The mediocre, though… you got nothing.
Portal‘s a little worse than that.
There’s nothing wrong with the acting, only it’s not really good. There’s nothing wrong with the story, except it feels like it could have used another draft. There’s nothing wrong with the directing, except there’s no scares. No fission.
The movie is okay. Like I Was a Teenage Frankenstein, it’s very much in it’s subgenre. The night footage is achieved with a bright light shining into the house through windows. The special effects work… ish.
It takes a while to get to the haunted house, but it’s not boring. It’s not anything. It just is.
I’m not sure I dislike it, but I can’t justify liking it.
There are short films so much better than this. Maybe it would have worked better as a found footage flick.
Dunno. Dunno, dunno, dunno.
I feel kind of bad with this review. The filmmakers tried. Hopeful the next try is better than this.
And yet, despite all that, not sorry I watched the film.
Makes no damn sense. But using the two score system of the sister site, this is two mehs (1.0 point each) for a total of 2.0 points.
Okay, I had a moment. I kept putting reviews in at the wrong dates. Part of the problem was I decided (not without good reason) to alternate reviews New, Golden Oldie, New, Golden Oldie. That made doing the math in my head… harder.
So today I opened up Scriveners and made a list. Which I leave below. Note I don’t have Golden Oldies done or even picked out yet. That’s the next project. When it’s finished, I should have reviews up to almost the end of the year.
Hopefully more new ones are in bound. Though there’s always October.
Anyhoo, here’s the list of what’s to come, with the new stuff in BOLD:
02/23: The Power
03/01: One Dark Night
03/08: Dark Crystal
03/15: The Conference
03/22: Frisky the 13th
03/29: Killdozer!
04/05: Dead & Buried
04/12: Phantasm
04/19: Godzilla 1985
04/26: Bridge Curse
05/03: Snow Creature
05/10: Ghoulish II
05/17: The Undertaker and His Pals
05/24: The Cat and the Canary
05/31: Virgin Witch
06/07: Kiss of the Vampire
06/14: God monster of Indian Flats
06/21: The Breach
06/28: Fire and Ice
07/05: Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell
07/12: Night of the Cobra Woman
07/19: When Evil Lurks
07/26: Undecided Golden Oldie
08/02: Prince of Darkness
08/09: Undecided Golden Oldie
08/16: Schlock
08/23: Undecided Golden Oldie
08/30: Noroi: The Curse
09/06: Undecided Golden Oldie
09/13: Hospital
09/20: Undecided Golden Oldie
09/27: V/H/S Viral
10/04: Undecided Golden Oldie
10/11: The Barn
10/18: Undecided Golden Oldie
10/25: Dementia 13
11/01: Undecided Golden Oldie
11/08: Superman IV: The Quest For Peace
So where do we stand?
At the start of 2023 I was two months (or so) out of work after being fired from my deli job at Walmart. I had this site, which I updated sporadically at best, the Review Site, which I didn’t update at all, and a dwindling bank account. Not the brightest of days.
At the end of 2023 I’m two weeks (or so) at a new job working deli at Target. I have this site, which I update sporadically at best, the Review site, which now updates every Friday and will continue to do so to at least June, several short stories, a novel that doesn’t work as well as I’d like but at least exists, and seven bucks (at best) in the bank account. Not too terrible, I think.
I hope to do better.
My MAD SCHEME is to write a novel a month. I’ve been trying to do that since November’s success. Hasn’t been working so far. But that’s the goal.
I want to work more on digital art. Maybe make a game. Who knows.
I want this site to update at least once a week. Daily would be great, but once a week seems more feasible. Fiction, essay, review, art, doesn’t matter. Once a week.
I want to have reviews all through 2024 for the sister site. Not doing bad so far, but need to work on it.
All in all, these are my goals.
I don’t always make my goals.
I hope to do better.
I’m not saying a thing about Dementia 13‘s story. It should be experienced without spoilers.
I watched this one back when I was a wee teen, over thirty years ago. I’ve been avoiding it ever since, thinking I didn’t like it. I watched this for the Sister Site and ended up giving it a perfect score.
The Hell were my standards back then?
Anyways, tomorrow is the last day of Month of Horror. I’ve done this at least four years (though most of those years have been washed away by the reboot). This is the first time I’ve made it to the end without ennui killing things.
Maybe it’s the quality of the movies I’ve watched.
Sure hasn’t been planning things out; I’ve only watched four movies on my planned list.
Next month is NaNoWriMo and it is my earnest intent to actually finish a novel this time.
I’ll keep you posted on that.
WordPress has gone all in with the AI. Not only does it have something that will write my posts for me (something I find interesting but repellent) it will also go through what I’ve written and judge me for it. This latter one is actually kind of useful and I might use more of it in future. The former I’ve used for material here and, again, it might be good to go to that well at another time.
What I will not use AI for is the writing of excerpts. There’s a little feature on my dashboard that will write the damn things for me, and to the last I’ve found them more useless than useful.
Here’s a sample, created from my Friday the 13th review (Spoilers for a 40+ flick):
“Friday the 13th” (1980), written by Victor Miller and directed by Sean S. Cunningham, follows a group of young people who attempt to reopen a doomed campground and are killed one by one. The lone survivor, Alice, eventually confronts the killer, Mrs. Voorhees, whose motive is revenge for her drowned son, Jason. The film, while not a cinematic masterpiece, is appreciated for its suspense and classic horror elements. Despite initial mixed reviews, the film is recognized today for its significant impact on the horror genre.
That’s basically my whole frickin’ review right there. Why would readers click on through to read more?
It spoils the damn movie, too. I give spoiler warnings over there for a reason, damn it.
Best of all, I told the thing the desired length was 50 words. That puppy up there? 85 words. So it’s also chatty.
I mean no matter the length I set it will ALWAYS go over. Always.
Do you want to know what a good excerpt looks like? Try this:
A group of young people make the mistake of trying to reopen the wrong campground.
That’s it. That tells you what the film is without ruining the experience. I could give the score, that would be okay. But whatever I do, at least I’m not stomping all over my review.
Geez. The Hell, man. The hell.
Furthermore: The excerpt for this post?
The author expresses mixed opinions on WordPress’s AI features, praising its ability to review posts but criticizing its automatic excerpt generator. The latter, they argue, drafts lengthy summaries that essentially spoil full reviews, and ignore set content length limits. They highlight a manually crafted, concise synopsis as a more desirable excerpt.
51 words. It’s like it’s trying to cheese me off.
Now fair’s fair. Here’s the AI Assistant reviewing what I’ve wrote up to this point:
The post content discusses the author’s mixed opinions on WordPress’s AI features. They appreciate the AI’s ability to review posts but criticize its automatic excerpt generator. The author argues that the automatic excerpts are lengthy and spoil the full reviews instead of enticing readers. They provide a concise, manually crafted synopsis as a better alternative.
Now that’s helpful.
For reasons known only to Heaven, I’m still fiddling with the WordPress AI, trying to see if I can use it for… well… anything. During this process, I’ve had it write outlines, stories, and reviews. All of them feel the same. Not in the way a person will repeat themselves, but more in a replace a few words then ship it out fashion. Impressed I am not.
In these experiments, I decided to see how far the AI would go. I decided to review myself.
Below is the results of said review:
Cullen M. M. Waters is a writer and blogger who runs the websites Welltun Cares Presents and Welltun Cares Reviews. Both sites have unique content and a nice design that is easy to navigate. Welltun Cares Presents features a mix of short stories, serialized fiction, and writing prompts, offering readers a variety of imaginative tales to enjoy. On the other hand, Welltun Cares Reviews provides in-depth reviews of books, movies, and other media, serving as a helpful guide for those who are looking for their next entertainment fix.
Throughout both sites, Cullen’s writing is creative, engaging, and showcases his unique storytelling voice. The content is well-organized, and the sites are regularly updated, providing readers with fresh new material to enjoy. Overall, I highly recommend Welltun Cares Presents and Welltun Cares Reviews to anyone who is a fan of imaginative writing or who is looking for informed opinions on the latest books and movies.
Note: This review was generated by an AI assistant, based on publicly available data of the websites mentioned above.
Well it’s nice SOMEBODY gets me.
It’s interesting where it botches things. For instance, this site doesn’t provide writing prompts. While I don’t think I’ve done it since the Reboot, I used to use writing prompts for content. I never gave them out, which is sort of what this review implies.
The writing about the Sister Site is also interesting. I have never once reviewed a book over there. Not once. This is the site for book reviews, and the AI never once mentions I do that here.
Also in evidence is the AI’s relentless efforts to be positive. It will bend over backwards to keep from saying anything negative.
Oh, and I love the bit about how the sites are regularly updated. That’s precious. Though the Sister Site will have reviews up for at least the next month. Old and new.
All in all, I’m not impressed with the AI. It brings mild amusement, but on the whole it’s a good way to get yourself lost in a crowd.
I have three–count ’em!–THREE reviews up at the Sister Site.
They are, in order:
In other news, I’ve written another story and had a good start on another.
Progress? I’d like to think so.
WELLTUN CARES PRESENTS 