[A Month of Horror – II] The White Reindeer

A herder’s wife transforms into a white reindeer that leads hunters to their doom.

This is a 1952 Finnish Horror flick that frankly makes no sense to me. This young woman seems happily married to a reindeer herder. One day, though, while her husband is away, she heads off to a local wizard. She wants him to make her a love potion that makes her irresistible to men. What happens instead is she periodically transforms into a white reindeer, then leads men off to their doom.

Why she wants this potion is never explained. Why she now transforms into a reindeer is never explained.

You’d think she’d kill the men as a reindeer. Not the case. Instead, she changes into her real form, only with vampire teeth. Which is not explained.

I dunno. Maybe it’s a cultural thing I’m not getting.

What I am getting is a creepy vibe from the proceedings. There’s a expressionistic silent movie vibe to the proceedings. Long shots of empty snowy wilderness. Not a lot of talking–this film made me realize how chatty American movies are.

There’s no special effects to speak of. The murders all take place off screen. This is only noted in passing, and not a note passing judgment.

I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it. Not a bad little flick. I rather liked it.

3 out of 4

[Month of Horror – 1] House on Haunted Hill

A millionaire holds a party at a haunted house.

I was feeling guilty about starting late this year only to find out I didn’t even finish last year. The tradition has already been blown.

So we start again, shall we?

Tonight’s feature is the classic William Castle flick House on Haunted Hill. I’ve seen this I don’t know how many times. The acting is good, with Vincent Price in fine form. The script… makes no damn sense if you think about it and the end really, really doesn’t make sense. A rewrite here and there might have helped.

And yet tonight, for the first time, this film unnerved me in a way Horror films should. How it did this, I don’t know. Maybe credit Castle for that. He was most known for his showmanship, but he really could direct.

All in all worth my time any yours. If you can ignore the problems with the plot.

And the ending.

3 out of 4

[THOUGHTS ON STORIES] Who’s the Protagonist (II) – Focusing on the Big Guy

[The header image was AI generated. I only wish I could draw that good.]

A couple of years back (more or less) I wrote a little on Protagonists. As a refresher, here are the terms as I see them as a Writer, Critic, and in general mad man:

  • Plot: A series of Action/Reaction events that form a story.
  • Protagonist: Character who’s choice has the greatest effect on the Plot.
  • Antagonist: Character that either opposes the Protagonist or is opposed by the protagonist. A proper Antagonist has a greater effect on the Plot than most.
  • Hero: The moral center of the Plot. They might not be the Protagonist, as that role isn’t a moral choice.
  • Villain: No shock, but a character that is the opposite of the Hero. Someone actively doing harm. They can even be the protagonist, as that role isn’t a moral choice.
  • Unfortunate Soul: Character who endangered by the Plot’s events that for reasons can’t do anything. They are never a Protagonist or an Antagonist, as they’re choices have little to no effect on the Plot.

Let’s add one final term, just for fun:

  • Force: An element that can drive the Plot that doesn’t have the agency of a Protagonist or Antagonist. It makes no conscious choice for or against, but actively effects the Plot.

That’s seems like a fine sampling.

Let’s look at a few stories, see how this shakes out. As I am who I am, we are looking at the three Godzilla movies that share the name Godzilla. Starting with the 1998 classic Godzilla.

Don’t make that face. It’s unbecoming.

Spoilers, for what it’s worth.


The Protagonist in Godzilla 98 is Nick Tatopoulos. He’s the one who makes all the choices that matter. He wants to stop Godzilla from causing destruction.

Opposing him as the Antagonist is, of course, Godzilla. All Godzilla wants is to roam about and be the best little monster it can be. Towards the end, with its offspring slaughtered, it actively tries to harm Nick. The size of its choices matter.

Ahem.


With Godzilla 14, things get interesting.

The Protagonists in this story are the bug like Muto. Everyone reacts to their choices. It doesn’t matter how they’re destructive. Being the Protagonist isn’t a moral choice, and every choice they make moves the Plot forward.

That said, once again the Antagonist here is Godzilla. He doesn’t want the Mutos to get what they want. They threaten his existence and until they stop, he won’t stop, either.

Now where does the human character, Brody, stand here? He’s the Hero. His actions, while important, don’t change the basic conflict between Muto and Godzilla. He helps Godzilla deal with the situation, unquestionably. But when everything is said and done, he does nothing that changes the Plot. If he wasn’t involved, the conflict would have continued and ended just fine without him.

Albeit perhaps not as happily for the world.


Now if you thought that last bit was wrong headed… well you ain’t heard nothing yet.

The Protagonist in the original Godzilla is the character you see the least: Daisuke Serizawa. Standing against him is the Antagonist… Hideto Ogata.

Yeah. That’s right. Godzilla doesn’t matter in his own first movie. at best he’s a Force.

Isn’t that wild? But hear me out.

What Godzilla is is unimportant. He doesn’t have to be a radioactive dinosaur. He could be anything from a giant octopus (which he almost was) to radioactive sludge.

What matters is that he’s a problem that needs solved.

Serizawa has the solution to that problem. It is his choice that matters the most in the movie. To refrain from acting means the threat continues unhampered. Acting, on the other hand, might unleash a far worse threat. In fact, Serizawa is pretty certain that it will.

Ogata, however, opposes this. He sees only the threat before them and forces Serizawa into a decision. And, in my humble opinion, that decision is the worst possible choice.

To reinforce this, remember there is only one scene between Serizawa and Godzilla. Godzilla, at the time, is minding his own business. His threat, while real and present, is also theoretical at that point.

As I’m throwing cod theory about, let me say that the real antagonist should have been Emiko Yamane. Ultimately she’s the one who betrays Serizawa on so many levels. But that’s expecting a little much from a film out of the Fifties.


Now that was fun. Might go back to this little thought experiment at another time.

A Month of Horror (III): Portal

[The Feature Image above is AI generated and has only the barest connections with reality. And is in fact scarier than this film.]

In brief, a team of ghost hunters enter the wrong haunted house and do the wrong things.

Its been said before that the hardest thing to review is a mediocre flick. You can rave about a great flick, you can rant about a bad one. The mediocre, though… you got nothing.

Portal‘s a little worse than that.

There’s nothing wrong with the acting, only it’s not really good. There’s nothing wrong with the story, except it feels like it could have used another draft. There’s nothing wrong with the directing, except there’s no scares. No fission.

The movie is okay. Like I Was a Teenage Frankenstein, it’s very much in it’s subgenre. The night footage is achieved with a bright light shining into the house through windows. The special effects work… ish.

It takes a while to get to the haunted house, but it’s not boring. It’s not anything. It just is.

I’m not sure I dislike it, but I can’t justify liking it.

There are short films so much better than this. Maybe it would have worked better as a found footage flick.

Dunno. Dunno, dunno, dunno.

I feel kind of bad with this review. The filmmakers tried. Hopeful the next try is better than this.

And yet, despite all that, not sorry I watched the film.

Makes no damn sense. But using the two score system of the sister site, this is two mehs (1.0 point each) for a total of 2.0 points.

A Month of Horror (II): I Was a Teenage Frankenstein

[The Feature Image above is AI generated and has only the barest connections with reality.]

You’ve seen this movie. You might not have actually sat down and watched the film, but if you have any familiarity with Mad Scientist Flicks or Frankenstein, you know the beats.

You have the Scientist with the outrageous theory. You have his assistant, who is most reluctant. You have the monster, who naturally goes on a killing spree. And so on and so forth.

I Was a Teenage Frankenstein, for better or worse, is just another Monster movie. Nevertheless, it’s well acted, has a decent plot, and one or two surprises during the run time. The ending, sad to say, is rather lackluster. And goes from black-and-white to color.

For some reason.

Compare this to a little feature released the same year called Curse of Frankenstein. It has the exact same three elements, hits the beats you more or less expect. It could have been just another Mad Scientist flick. And yet through better writing, direction… well, everything about it works so much better.

There the film makers cared. Here? Not so much.

So, this is a meh flick (1.0 points.) I don’t care that much about it one way or the other (1.0 points). Add that together gets us a score of 2.0. Not a bad way to kill an hour or so, but no better than that.

A Month of Horror (I): The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

[The Feature Image above is AI generated and has only the barest connections with reality.]

Well if there’s one thing to guarantee me to post, it’s this month.

I start this month of Horror with the Horror Classic Phantom of the Opera. Despite owning a copy of this film for years, I’ve never watched it from beginning to end. I’m not quite certain why. Lord knows I’ve watched my fair share of silent films. Perhaps the soundtrack accompanying this flick helped.

In any case I managed to finish it. I’m going against conventional thought and saying I like the Claude Rains version better. I like the humor in the story and the characters better. Weird statement from a Horror Guy, I know, but there it is.

That said, this is a damn fine flick. Damn fine.

Except for maybe Lon Chaney the film is overacted in the typical Silent movie way. Early in the film we have a flock of dancers who tend to do twirls for no clear reason at all, save, perhaps to remind people of what role they have. There’s also a lot of leaning away in horror, theatrical gestures, and the like.

To go back to Chaney, he’s the best part of the picture, as he usually was. Whether behind a creepy mask or in his staggering face make up, his presence grabs you by the lapels and shakes you. Which was impressive to me, as I was wearing a t-shirt when watching the flick.

As a Horror Guy, I’m fairly familiar with The Phantom of the Opera, having watched the later films. The Claude Rains version, the Hammer version, and so on. With those memories in mind, I had a fair idea of where things were going. Despite this I was delightful tense throughout, a sign that this is a very well made flick.

Then again, there are differences from this film and the others. For instance, the chandler scene. I seem to recall it always at the end. Here it’s the Phantom’s first act of terror.

Then there’s the Phantom himself. In the later films he tends to be more sympathetic. Here he’s damn evil.

All in all, this is a Horror classic. Even at a hundred (well almost), it still packs a punch. Worth seeking out.

In the rating system of the sister site, Great flick for 2.0 points. Liked it a lot, which adds on 1.5 points for a total of 3.5 points.

(Claude Rains, for the curious, is 3.0 points. A good flick, but not a classic one.)

[SISTER SITE] Schedule for the Blog that Actually Updates!

Okay, I had a moment. I kept putting reviews in at the wrong dates. Part of the problem was I decided (not without good reason) to alternate reviews New, Golden Oldie, New, Golden Oldie. That made doing the math in my head… harder.

So today I opened up Scriveners and made a list. Which I leave below. Note I don’t have Golden Oldies done or even picked out yet. That’s the next project. When it’s finished, I should have reviews up to almost the end of the year.

Hopefully more new ones are in bound. Though there’s always October.

Anyhoo, here’s the list of what’s to come, with the new stuff in BOLD:

02/23: The Power
03/01: One Dark Night
03/08: Dark Crystal
03/15: The Conference
03/22: Frisky the 13th
03/29: Killdozer!
04/05: Dead & Buried
04/12: Phantasm
04/19: Godzilla 1985
04/26: Bridge Curse
05/03: Snow Creature
05/10: Ghoulish II
05/17: The Undertaker and His Pals
05/24: The Cat and the Canary
05/31: Virgin Witch
06/07: Kiss of the Vampire
06/14: God monster of Indian Flats
06/21: The Breach
06/28: Fire and Ice
07/05: Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell
07/12: Night of the Cobra Woman
07/19: When Evil Lurks
07/26: Undecided Golden Oldie
08/02: Prince of Darkness
08/09: Undecided Golden Oldie
08/16: Schlock
08/23: Undecided Golden Oldie
08/30: Noroi: The Curse
09/06: Undecided Golden Oldie
09/13: Hospital
09/20: Undecided Golden Oldie
09/27: V/H/S Viral
10/04: Undecided Golden Oldie
10/11: The Barn
10/18: Undecided Golden Oldie
10/25: Dementia 13
11/01: Undecided Golden Oldie
11/08: Superman IV: The Quest For Peace

[MONTH OF HORROR] Trick or Treat and a Summation of the Month

Wow. A whole month, with only one sick day and one skipped day. More importantly, a review every day, plus extra.

A Welltun Cares Presents first!

The final feature of the month was Trick or Treat, which tells you absolutely nothing as there’s a bunch by this title. This particular one is a sort of Carrie clone, as a picked upon teenager uses the evil spirit of his Heavy Metal hero to get revenge upon those who wronged him. Very Eighties, very fun. One of my favorites and frankly the best way to end this series.

And now an overview of what I’ve watched. The dates are when the movies pop up as Sister Site reviews. The asterisks (*) are the ones with Long Reviews. This might change without notice.

Here’s the list:

Week One

  • As Above, So Below (10/13/23)
  • Demons (10/27/23)
  • Demons 2 (11/10/23)
  • Man Made Monster* (11/24/23)
  • The Comedy of Terror (12/1/23)
  • The Church (12/8/23)
  • The Curse of the Doll People (12/15/23)

Week Two

  • Dawn Breaks Behind the Eyes [12-22-23]
  • V/H/S/99 [12-29-23]
  • V/H/S/85 [01-05-24]
  • The House of Seven Corpses [01-12-24]
  • Evil Dead Trap [01-19-24]
  • One Dark Night [01-26-24]
  • The Other Side of the Box [Short Film]
  • The Chair [Short Film]
  • Stalled [Short Film]
  • Friday the 13th* [02-09-24]
  • The Conference [02-02-24]

Week Three

  • Killdozer! [02/16/24]
  • Phantasm [02/23/24]
  • The Bridge Curse [02/29/24]
  • Ghoulies II [03/08/24]
  • The Cat and the Canary [03/15/24]
  • Kiss of the Vampire [03/22/24]

Week Four

  • The Breach [03/29/24]
  • Schlock [04/05/24]
  • Noroi: The Curse [04/12/24]
  • Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell [04/19/24]
  • Hospital [04/26/24]
  • Prince of Darkness [05/03/24]
  • When Evil Lurks [05/10/24]
  • The Barn [05/17/24]

Week 5

  • V/H/S Viral [05/24/24]
  • Dementia 13 [05/31/24]
  • Trick or Treat [06/07/24]

Next is the obligatory pointless Awards for the week. I’m going to mix it up a little and do top 5 lists instead of the usual way of doing things.

Favored Five

These are the five films I liked the most this month:

  1. Prince of Darkness – This classic John Carpenter flick is always a welcome view.
  2. Dementia 13 – A nice surprise, especially because I’ve been avoiding watching it for decades.
  3. Demons 2 – Pizza Schlock at its finest!
  4. Comedy of Terror – Vincent Price and the gang have a blast running a funeral home that seeks out clients.
  5. Trick or Treat – Never meet your heroes. Especially if they’ve become evil spirits.

Scariest I’ve Seen This Month

While not Favored, these flicks put the fear in me and should be commended/list for it.

  1. When Evil Lurks – Too bleak for my blood, but I can’t deny its power.
  2. Noroi: The Curse – A great Found Footage flick with Lovecraftian overtones.
  3. V/H/S Viral – The whole series seldom misses a step, but so far this is the best of the bunch.
  4. The Conference – Probably the best Slasher flick I’ve seen in years.
  5. Phantasm – Don’t ask me why, but as familiar as I am with this flick, it still gets me in places.

Worst of the Lot

This goes in order of very worst to pretty damn bad:

  1. Schlock – Hands down the worst movie I watched this month. Not so much bottom of the barrel but in a subterranean cave beneath the barrel. A cave that has toxic waste leaking in. Gah.
  2. Dawn Breaks Behind the Eyes – Artsy fartsy bull crap.
  3. Man Made Monster – Lon Chaney Jr. deserves better. And if rumor is true this movie helped him get it. So it has that going for it.
  4. Ghoulies II – Bad puppets couldn’t save this flick
  5. Bloody Muscle Body Builder in Hell – This is a terrible movie, but in an entertaining way.

And that’s the month! Has some fun, got my Sister Site running right on into June. I might add some Golden Oldies to that mix (pushing some of the dates back), I might do fuller reviews to replace the brief ones I’ve done, I might even get so more fresh content in there. Sky’s the limit. No pressure to perform for a change.

Next week is NaNoWriMo. Fingers cross it goes as well as this month.

[MONTH OF HORROR] Dementia 13

I’m not saying a thing about Dementia 13‘s story. It should be experienced without spoilers.

I watched this one back when I was a wee teen, over thirty years ago. I’ve been avoiding it ever since, thinking I didn’t like it. I watched this for the Sister Site and ended up giving it a perfect score.

The Hell were my standards back then?

Anyways, tomorrow is the last day of Month of Horror. I’ve done this at least four years (though most of those years have been washed away by the reboot). This is the first time I’ve made it to the end without ennui killing things.

Maybe it’s the quality of the movies I’ve watched.

Sure hasn’t been planning things out; I’ve only watched four movies on my planned list.

Next month is NaNoWriMo and it is my earnest intent to actually finish a novel this time.

I’ll keep you posted on that.

[MONTH OF HORROR] V/H/S Viral

I can’t seem to escape this series. This one has an ice cream truck from Hell, a magician with an evil cape, a parallel universe you don’t want to go to, and skater boys battling the undead. Inventive, wild, vastly entertaining. Probably the best one of these I’ve seen. Almost cracks the 4.0 barrier Sister Site wise (it’s hard for anthologies to get 4.0 and 0.0 the way I run things.)

Almost done with the month. Two more days, and I’m at 30 out of 31 reviews for the Sister Site. Not bad, not bad.