The V/H/S series is a Found Footage anthology that’s near and dear to my heart. These are the newest entries in the series. I hadn’t intended to watch them for this marathon, but Brother Todd expressed an interest.
To give a brief review, V/H/S/99 is the weaker of the two, though it arguably has the best story. That particular story was created by the same people who did the awesome Deadstream. Well worth watching just for that. The poor segments won’t hurt too bad.
Anyway, I’ve finished the review for V/H/S/99 and still have one to do for V/H/S/85. So we’re at 9/31, perhaps 10/31. Being a wee bit ahead is good, as every other Month of Horror I’ve burned out before the end.
Okay, tonight’s feature was Curse of the Doll People, a rip off of A. Merritt’s classic Burn, Witch, Burn. It was okay, I guess. Little doll monsters, an interesting Zombie, and a bad guy who was dumb as a post.
This marks the seventh review I’ve written as a buffer for the sister site. That’s 7/31.
And now the week’s summation. Here’s what I watched, with the scheduled dates for the full reviews. This may change–it’s a lot of Horror one after the other and I might want to through in some Sci Fi or Fantasy. Or a Golden Oldie.
Speaking of which, the week gaps you’ll see are where I already had Golden Oldies in place.
Anyways, in watch order:
As Above, So Below (10/13/23)
Demons (10/27/23)
Demons 2 (11/10/23)
Man Made Monster* (11/24/23)
The Comedy of Terror (12/1/23)
The Church (12/8/23)
The Curse of the Doll People (12/15/23)
Next is the obligatory pointless Awards for the week:
Best Movie of the Week: As Above, So Below. Hands down the best one. The Comedy of Terror comes close.
Worst Movie of the Week:Man Made Monster.
Best Pizza Shlock: Demons 2. Almost wrote Demons by mistake.
Biggest Surprise:Man Made Monster is my first full review since I believe February. Which is nice. As Above, So Below being as good as it is gets it a mention here. Also in the running is The Church, which I honestly believed was Demons 3 at one point (which it is, but not the point I thought.)
Newest Film Watched: As Above, So Below at 2014.
Oldest Film Watched:Man Made Monster at 1941.
Most Sophisticated a Film:The Comedy of Terror. It quotes Shakespeare and that instantly classes things up. Which, now that I think about it, would mean the American Version of King Kong Versus Godzilla would be sophisticated for the same reason. That’s just wrong.
Film Not Even Mentioned In Passing in These Awards Despite Having Its Name in the Title:The Curse of the Doll People. I was feeling guilty, alright?
One week down, three weeks and a few days to go. Will I make a full month?
For a movie about Demons and Hell, this flick strikes me as awfully Lovecraftian. Which is a stitch as according to the IMDb it rips off an M R James tale called The Treasure of Abbot Thomas.
Going to have to look into that.
Anyways, the story is basically about an unscrupulous librarian unlocking an ancient curse while looking for loot. It’s stylish, it’s incoherent, it’s basically what people think of when they think Italian Horror. It’s pretty good.
Though the James story is undoubtable better.
Because of who wrote it.
Anyway, my streak continues. Six reviews written. About a month and a half, give or take. Not to shabby. 6/31.
Another one down! And an even better one than what’s come before. Who’d have thunk?
A small digression, if you don’t mind. WordPress now allows writers to have its AI to generate excerpt commentary. I don’t use it as a rule, but I keep trying it to see what happens. Tonight’s effort came out surprisingly good. I didn’t use it, but I put it here as a curiosity.
Thus the AI on my upcoming review on this particular film:
The 1963 film, featuring legendary actors like Vincent Price, Peter Lorre, and Boris Karloff, explores the story of a desperate, disreputable undertaker who finds shady ways to carry out his business. Despite flaws such as poor comedy direction and noticeable stunt double placement, the film is praised for its witty scripting and entertaining performers, particularly Karloff.
That’s not half bad, really. Kind of a shock.
Anyways, another review in the buffer. And as I finished Man Mad Monster, my count is 5/31. I’m doing decent writing work here.
This wasn’t the intended feature of the day, but I ran out of time. I needed a quickie and at an hour this fit the bill. Besides, I’ve been meaning to see it. I watched it once as a kid and always wanted to watch it again. Kept confusing it with The Indestructible Man.
In a nutshell, this is EVERY FIFITIES SCI FI MOVIE (even though it came out in the forties). A mad scientist gets a hold of a carny who has an immunity to electricity and turns him into a monster. The usual brouhaha ensues. It is marginally better than most due to the acting and the tightness of the plot. Lon Chaney Jr. does his thing here, but he could have been playing any one of a dozen monsters. It’s unusual in that the female lead tries to save the monster instead of being threatened by him.
I liked it, but I have no taste.
My problem is that on finishing it I got the urge to go ON AND ON about it. As I’m supposed to be doing shorts, this might be a problem. I’m going to try to write a long form out of it tomorrow (it’s only an hour, how hard can it be?). However this has to be considered a stumble in my goals. How bad of one… remains to be seen.
As with yesterday’s offering, a bunch of people trapped in a building chased by demons. I adore this flick something fierce. I also have a long review in the archives that I’m now thinking of scrapping for something NEWER.
Might be interesting.
3/31. I have one more in a sort of series, then I really need to find something not demonic related to watch.
People are given tickets to see a nameless movie in a brand new theater by a guy who looks like he’s depriving an Opera house of a phantom. This proves to be a mistake, as it’s some sort of plot to unleash Hell on Earth.
I am so not impartial with this one. It’s one of those “Can watch anytime” flicks.
So we are now 2/31 in terms of reviews for the Sister Site. So far so good.
This Month of Horror is an annual thing for me. I don’t always make a whole month, but I try. And with each day I write a review.
Last year, on whim, I started rating the films using the system I use for the Sister Site, Welltun Cares Reviews. It felt pretty good, so I thought I’d do it again this year.
This isn’t crazy.
About four days ago I started making up a list of movies to watch. Why keep that to the last minute? Am I right or am I right? Might keep me from missing days if I had it all planned out ahead of time. Pretty brilliant, I thought.
And as I made the list, I realized I was doing all movies.
Welltun Cares Reviews was all movies. More or less.
Why–and I know this is a bizarre thought–but why not post the reviews on my review site?
Madness, I know.
The initial idea was post them as I finished, like I did here. Then the thunderclap came. Am I nuts? Every other review pops up on Fridays. I’ve been doing this for most the year. Why, therefore, should I post a review every day instead of scheduling them all as a massive buffer?
So that’s the plan. I review one movie a day for 31 days. That should give me thirty one weeks, plus four more weeks from Golden Oldie reviews I’d already set up in case I failed. A hell of a buffer.
Long enough so that I should be able to crank out my preferred longer reviews without fear.
So what does that mean for this site?
I still intend to talk about the films, but in a really, really abbreviated form. I see no point in spoiling my efforts on one site by posting on another.
So. Today’s feature was As Above, So Below, a 2014 flick. Another of my goals, I should add, is to put out more reviews of more current flicks. My opinion of modern Horror has been low, which has kept me from it. And as this film has proven, that’s a mistake.
It’s a good flick. Well written, very little fat. Found footage style, so if you have a beef with that subgenre you might have one here. I don’t care for it myself, but to be honest I’ve had a string of good luck with them so far and this continues the streak.
As this will be a decent size post as is, I’m not retelling the tale. In short, years back I learned that when the Zombie/Vampire/Alien/Whatever Apocalypse comes, I will not be the Hero that saves everyone. No. Instead, I’ll be among the first to go. Probably still wondering what was going down.
Apparently this one lesson wasn’t enough. Apparently another was needed.
Lucky me.
The Good Girl in Question
Thursday Brother Todd had a nasty surprise while watching the family dog Daisy Mae have fun outside. Namely, he got to find her covered in what he called bees. He brushed her off as quick as possible, then brought her in to safty.
At the time I was outshopping. On returning and hearing the story, a nasty memory popped back up. A couple years back we had a yellow jacket nest in the yard. Stung me on the finger and the back of the neck. I killed them all real good
Now I’m a grown man. When trouble pops up, I should act like. Besides, the sun was going down. The troublemakers would be in the nest asleep.
So I went outside. I went to the bush in front, where Daisy had been sitting, and had a look around.
Nothing.
Okay then. Might as well make the trip worth while. We’d been talking about trimming the bush back. I figured I’d take a bit off, make the trip out worth while.
I hadn’t cut more than a little when the first sting happened. Under the upper part of my right arm.
Alright then. I might want to–
That’s went the second sting happened. Then maybe the third.
There were a lot of stings that day.
Now common sense finally hit. I ran to the house. Felt something buzzing my hair, and all I could think about were all those Horror movies where an idiot character gets himself stung to death. So glad I could be one.
I shut the front door behind me, safe at last. I started to tell Mom and Todd what happened.
Then Todd noticed it.
From about hem to pockets my black pants were covered in yellow jackets.
Todd shouted for me to take my pants off and throw them outside. To my credit, I did the single smart thing I did that day and ignored him. Instead, I ran outside, stripped off my pants, then ran back inside. Where I took a quick shower just in case a few stragglers remained.
So yeah. In my underwear out where the neighborhood could see me.
Surprised it hadn’t happened sooner.
Or more often.
So all of this comes with a capper. Those yellow jackets? Weren’t from the nest that got Daisy.
I am blessed with a yard filled with stinging insects.
Anyway, Daisy didn’t seem to be bothered by the experience. If it hurts her, she gave no sign.
Me, I’m under the desk, whimpering as I type this.
I’ve never been stung on the nose before. Wasn’t even on the bucket list.
WELLTUN CARES PRESENTS 