[Month of Horror] Laura Hasn’t Slept/Withered

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Ghost Movies, Short FilmLeave a comment

Laura Hasn’t Slept

A woman seeks counseling about her dreams.

Note: Unless noted otherwise, the shorts I watch for these reviews are on You Tube. Except for this one. This one has been pulled by Paramount. Which is their right.

Right at the end of September I watched the hit Horror flick Smile in a theater. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen a hundred times before. I’d guessed the end well before we got there. All said, though, it was a good representation of its plot, it had good scares, and while it has some padding here and there it wasn’t a bad time. I liked it.

So when I learned it was based on a short film, today’s subject, I sought it out on You Tube.

It has a plot you’ve seen before. You’ll guess the ending way before you get there. And there’s some padding where you probably don’t need it.

And like Smile, I had a blast with Laura Hasn’t Slept. It is an extremely well made example of its kind.

I would even go so far as to say this is the better of the two films.

Great flick (2.0). Not sure I’d say I loved it, so we’ll go with like (1.5)

3.5 out of 4

Withered

A man digs up something nasty in his garden.

This one I wasn’t so lucky with.

Oh, it’s fine. It has some jump scares that made me jump (at least one that really shouldn’t have, so props for that). And it wasn’t too irritating.

It’s just that there’s something missing.

Part of it is the acting, which really isn’t good. It’s also a bit lack luster in places in terms of direction and special effect.

But what really kills it is that it suffers from a lack of motivation for what was going on and no set rules for the antagonist. It does what it does because of plot.

This is a common problem with a lot of shorts. I realize that sometimes you don’t need a motivation. Laura Has Slept‘s villain doesn’t say why he’s doing what he’s doing, or what he gains out things. But there’s an in-story reason why this doesn’t matter.

No such luck here.

All that said, I don’t think a meh works for it (it did do its job and scare), so we’re saying a low good (1.5). Personally I’m sort of meh on it all together (1.0)

2.5 out of 4

[Month of Horror] Waiting/Dagon (Short)

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Monster Movies, Short Film2 Comments

WAITING

Two women wait for a ride in the dark of night.

Short films tend to be hit or miss, but I’ve been finding the cartoons to be more hit than miss. This particular little flick I found on You Tube is no exception to this.

It’s basically animated with no voice acting. Still, it’s a good tale well told (1.5) and I rather enjoyed it. (2.0)

3.5 out of 4

Dagon

An escaped prisoner of war discovers that he might have been better off not escaping.

This particular short (again on You Tube) really isn’t a movie. What very little animation it has is even more basic than Waiting; the rest is (admittedly well done) drawings inspired by the H. P. Lovecraft story.

The whole thing is showcase for the reading, which comprises I believe the entire text. The reader does a great job with the telling of the tale.

The problem is that Dagon isn’t one of Lovecraft’s best works. First published, not a bad effort, but he gets a lot better.

All said and done, a good effort (1.5). I kind of like it (1.5).

3 out of 4

[Month of Horror] Deadstream

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Ghost Movies1 Comment

DEADSTREAM

I’ve never reviewed a movie this new. It came out last week. I’d have reviewed it before now, but for some reason it wouldn’t pop up on Shudder for me.

Which irritated the crap out of me, because like with It Crawls Beneath I saw the trailer and knew this was a gotta see. This internet influencer goes off and does everything that scares him. His latest fear is staying alone in a haunted house, so he picks one to spend the night in by himself. Naturally he chooses poorly.

Anyway, this is another in a long series of “Found Footage” films, but in this case it’s more of a streaming video, meaning what’s happening is happening “live”. You see the protagonist set himself up for a horrible night, then slowly but surely things build up to less Blair Witch Project and more Evil Dead. It’s a beautiful thing.

Now like entirely too many modern films I’ve watched of late I was ahead of the game here and there, but in this case, that’s the point. The protagonist is an idiot, doing dumb things for dumb reasons. You’re supposed to be ahead of him.

This isn’t to say I have no problems with the film. There are questions about the plot I’m not sure about.

Here’s the thing, though. I don’t care. I had a blast with this film, and I think it might be one I revisit again through the coming years.

Great flick (2.0). Loved most every moment of it (2.0)

4 out of 4

[Month of Horror] Blackbird, In Vaulted Halls Entombed, Chainsaw Maid

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Monster Movies, Short Film2 Comments

Blackbird

In Vaulted Halls Entombed

It’s probably telling that I watched both of these and honestly considered not mentioning either of them

Blackbird is about an amnesiac who rescues a woman who’s running from the masked man who held her prisoner. Which probably tells you all you need to know about the “shocking twist” at the end of the film.

In Vaulted Halls Entombed, meanwhile, follows a group of soldiers entering the wrong cave. It was a part of the Love, Death, and Robots cable series, and thus was very well animated. It, also, was very, very dull. That I read the story it was based on probably didn’t help matters. Though let’s also consider I’ve watched Deep Red multiple times and still felt a thrill with that.

So, anyways, both films are well produced, well acted, and, honestly? The stories on the surface aren’t that bad.

It’s just both of them came off as lifeless as hell.

In Vaulted Halls Entombed is the worse in this regard. I watched people torn a part and I. Just. Didn’t Care. It was boring. Not something I associate with the series it’s a part of. Well, more or less.

Both I’d say were good flicks (1.5) that I’m very meh about.

Blackbird:
2.5 out of 4

In Vaulted:
2.5 out of 4

Chainsaw Maid

Now in comparison, take this short, which I watched between the previous two (I had such high hopes for In Vaulted Halls Entombed) It’s a badly animated clay flick about a maid defending the people she works for from the Undead. It has absolutely no dialogue, its plot is an excuse for a series of clay gore effects, and it steals music from Twin Peaks. It is as goofy as hell with no scares whatsoever.

This one I love to death.

Really.

It’s the bomb.

Before the reboot, this was my most linked video by far. Seriously, it wasn’t even close.

In fact, let’s get that merry-go-round started right now:

I adore this movie.

Does it say something about my taste? Probably. It’s still today’s winner by far.

Calling it great is probably pushing it, but I’m doing it anyway. Chainsaw Maid is great (2.0). I love this little flick (2.0). I does my heart good to see it.

4 out of 4

[Month of Horror] First Week Summation

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, SummationLeave a comment

Okay, this first week of the Month of Horror I watched ten films (don’t expect a repeat).

The films were:

  • The Mummy (1932)
  • Bride of Frankenstein
  • Rood (Short)
  • Eldritch Code (Short)
  • Shinsen (Short)
  • I See You (Short)
  • They Crawl Beneath
  • Deep Red
  • Chopping Mall
  • C.H.U.D.

The average score I dished out last week was 2.95, so as a rule whatever I watched was between good or average. One flick in particular brought the whole thing down. Which is only interesting statisticwise.

Six out of ten were full length films. Two were short films. Two were cartoons.

I gave out three perfect scores. None hit zero. A good thing. For me.

The top three, in order of preference more than quality, were as follow”

  1. Deep Red.
  2. Bride of Frankenstein
  3. C.H.U.D

The worst of the lot was They Crawl Beneath.

The guy who got dumped the hardest: Boris Karloff. Two flicks and he never once got the girl.

Actually, I don’t think Boris ever did get the girl.

Any way, on to the next review.

[Month of Horror] C.H.U.D

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Monster MoviesLeave a comment

C.H.U.D.

Mutated monsters stalk the streets of New York looking for flesh.

I’m going to keep this short, cause I’m writing this past my bed time and I have work tomorrow. But man! What a flick. Watching it back to back with Chopping Mall really shows just how shallow the robot slasher flick was.

Don’t get me wrong. C.H.U.D is every bit as familiar a flick. You got government conspiracies, sleazy reporters, and several plot holes. But everything comes together in a well done little B-Movie.

Great flick (2.0), love it to death (2.0)

4 out of 4

[MONTH OF HORROR] Chopping Mall

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Monster MoviesLeave a comment

CHOPPING MALL

A group of… twentysomething? Teenagers? Any way, they party late night at a mall and get stalked by killer robots.

Anything was going to be a let down after Deep Red, so I went lowest common denominator with Chopping Mall. Just a slasher flick with a trio of rather neat looking robots. An old favorite from a misspent youth.

And you know what? It wasn’t half bad. I got into it fairly well, despite knowing the basic plot. Such as it was. The actors are all veterans of the B-Movie scene. The director did his job. The movie did it’s job.

Now did I wish it was something it wasn’t? Like, say, a slightly smarter, less bog standard slasher flick? Sure. And there are really questionable moments in the films plot. Like just how powerful are the robot’s laser beams again? Sometimes it barely does any damage, sometimes it kills with one hit, and sometimes it blows a girl’s head off, all based on the whim of the script.

Just one example, mind. Other possible beefs exist, and perhaps in a longer review at, say, a review site, I could go into it.

Thing is, it’s just carping. Chopping Mall is what it is, and does what it sets out to do: entertain.

It’s a good flick (1.5) of its sort that I like (1.5)

3 out of 4

[MONTH OF HORROR] Deep Red

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, MoviesLeave a comment

As a sort of palate cleanser from the last flick, I picked this one.

If “cleanser” can be used in connection with Deep Red, that is.

Deep Red

A pianist witnesses a horrible murder and investigates the crime, not knowing just how dangerous what he’s trying to do is.

This might be the fourth time I’ve watched this movie. I know the story, at least how it goes and who does what. It should hold no surprises for me. But like so many of my favorite Horror flicks, this one still gets to me.

It’s not without its flaws. But to go into them is to spoil a really wonderful flick. Besides, the good really outweighs the bad.

I did a full review of this film at the sister site, which will return the moment I get my act together regarding it. Bottom line, great flick (2.0) which I really love (2.0).

4 out of 4

[MONTH OF HORROR] They Crawl Beneath

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Monster MoviesLeave a comment

Some Spoilers here. For the record.

They Crawl Beneath

So I saw a trailer for this flick and once I saw it, I knew I had to see it. This guy is repairing an old car with his uncle and an earthquake hits. Car goes on both of them, killing the uncle and trapping the guy not only under the car but in the garage itself. If this isn’t bad enough, there are these worm monsters that came out of the ground. Now the guy has to figure out how to free himself while avoiding the beasties.

It looked beautiful.

So when I saw it was over on Amazon, I knew I had to see it for the Month of Horror.

But it wasn’t free. I could by it outright for about $13 bucks, or I could rent it for about $5.

Now again, I was jazzed about the movie. Looked like it might be up there with Tremors. Monster fun. Something I might watch again and again. So $13 bucks wouldn’t be that big a deal.

But I blinked and decided to rent it instead.

This was the right choice.

The monster stuff was… okay. The acting was… fair. It could have been so much more.

But it got saddled with so much crap. So. Much.

We’re not going to talk about the pointless nightmare sequence at the start of the flick. We’re not going to talk about the plot contrivances, like when Our Hero is unconscious just long enough to miss getting early help. Or like how the monster’s venom is supposed to kill in two hours and it seems to take a lot longer than that for Our Hero. Or… We’re not talking about it. No.

What we are going to talk about is how this film is, at best, 45% monster movie. The rest of it is seemingly endless family drama. The love interest doesn’t want Our Hero to be a cop any more after he almost gets himself shot. The Uncle might be Our Hero’s dad. On and on and on.

Our Hero manages to connect with the outside world with his mom, of all people, and after telling her to hurry and call the Love Interest (never mind why) he confronts her with his discovery of her and the Uncle. That’s when I muted the movie until the monsters returned.

Later he gets in contact with the Love Interest, who passes on information he got earlier in the film. Then, right towards the end of the conversations she says “I’m pregnant.”

This is where I started screaming at the film.

It doesn’t even know when to quit. It just goes on and on and on.

Wow. Just wow.

So glad I didn’t pay full price. Too bad I didn’t wait till it got on Prime.

It’s a near meh level bad (.5) and I didn’t like it at all (.5).

It could have been so much better than this. What a disappointment.

1 out of 4

[Month of Horror] Shinsen/I See You

On By Cullen M. M. WatersIn A Month of Horror, Short FilmLeave a comment

More shorts. This time the animated variety.

SHINSEN

A young warrior steals food from the wrong shrine.

Coming in at just under three and a half minutes, there’s very little time for anything like character building or plot. Sometimes that’s enough.

In this case, it isn’t. It’s not a bad little short. It’s just too short to be effective with the story it’s trying to tell.

That said, it’s very well animated. So it might not quite deserve the meh (1.0) I’m giving it. Nor does it deserve a good, I think. In any case, I’m kinda meh (1.0) about the whole thing.

2 out of 4

I SEE YOU

A house cleaner finds cleaning a haunted house a difficult task

While a bit light hearted, this little feature does stir up the occasional bits of dread. It has enough time to build up its two characters and was decently animated (sort of stop motion).

Now to be honest I did see the ending coming a little ways before the half way mark. But it’s a nice, charming short that doesn’t overstay its welcome. Of the four shorts I’ve watched for this series, this is the one I’m most likely to rewatch just for the hell of it.

It’s a good short (1.5) that I liked a lot (1.5)

3 out of 4